Not sure what to write here, I’m usually a very private and reserved person and yet I’ve been spilling my guts online about who I really am. Simply I am a decent human being who wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone. I don’t tell big lies (I will lie about whether your bum looks big in those pants though – I might say the style just isn’t you but never that you’ve got a big arse, I'm sure 'social lies' are acceptable) and I expect everybody to be as honest as I am. So as you can imagine I am always in the deep whoopsies because I trust the wrong people for the wrong reasons (who knew you couldn’t trust a bank manager to put your needs ahead of his own?). So I’m gullible, bugger.
I love the simple things in life. I love to garden although you couldn’t tell at the moment what with my garden being nothing other than weeds (where is the incentive to have your vegie patch when the bank tells you that you’ll be out of your home within a fortnight?). I’m into self-sufficiency but even my house cow is dry at the moment. I still haven’t set everything up the way I want – again – no incentive when I might lose the lot.
What has this fight cost me? Let’s take the financial cost out of the picture (for now the cost is immeasurable as I may yet win – at a price of-course) and just look at the things that really matter. I had a nervous breakdown which caused me to burn a few bridges that shouldn’t have been burnt. I was pushed to a place where I seriously was ready to commit suicide - what stopped me is quite a story but it wasn't thoughts of my parents or anything else that should have stopped me. So in myself I have lost something that was most important - my self respect. I have lost some of the greatest loves of my life because I was so busy fighting the bank that I lost sight of the big picture and let people I love down. These losses are what count most, the people I love who are no longer in my life – I’d give anything to have them back. I will never be the same person I was before the loan from hell came into my life and my life can never go back to what it was. This cost is the greatest cost of all in my opinion.
About Me
